Spunkygirl Monologues

For months now I’ve been watching my Dad do strange and weird things.  He’s never been weird, just a salesman.  But somehow the older he gets, the weirder he gets.  Have you ever seen the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”?  Remember the Father?  Remember how he thought Windex cured everything? I do.  I remember laughing and thinking nothing of it, until now that is.

My Father will be 74 this year and these are just a few of his “wonderful” tips and tricks!

1. Have a pain in your hand just rub some DW40 on it and you’ll be just fine.  Yes, he actually does this and yes, he thinks it works!
2. Have pains in your legs or arms, drink a shot of vinegar, neat! Apparently Cider vinegar is best, but regular vinegar works too.
3. Flies: now this is a good one.  First, he didn’t have a fly swatter, so he made one from newspaper and duct tape.  Secondly, he wanted to make sure they were dead, so he lined his kills up along to baseboard in the kitchen and checked back to see if any were missing (so he’d know how many he had left to kill).
4. Christmas Tree falling over because it’s too old? No problem! Just anchor it to the wall with some wire and a huge screw and you’ll be fine.
5. Left over ice.  There was actually a glass by the sink with a lemon, some ice and a small amount of pop.  Instead of dumping it all down the drain he fished out the ice for his own glass!  Ok, the original glass belonged to my Mother, but still, it’s gross!!
6. He’s hungry, so he calls me and asks if I can make him a sandwich and bring it to his work, he then proceeds to tell me HOW to make his sandwich.  This includes where the margarine and mayo goes, the order of the meat, lettuce and onion.  Oh my!

Believe me, there have been many things, these are just a few.  I just pray that this is a normal age thing. lol