Whoa! Where ya going with those hands, buddy!

Since my first trip to China 2 years ago, I’ve come to the realization that my “girls” are some what of a fascination to the Asian people. Okay, they’re a fascination for everyone, but Asian people seem to be more physical than most. Perhaps you read about the old woman who tried to molest me in Xi’an. You know, busy street.Tried to look down my top. Gave my “girls” a few pokes. Tried to convince me to pull up my shirt so she could have a look see. All while her friend had a Vulcan death grip on my arm. Needless to say, I got away without exposing myself!

Tonight was a slightly different story. I was sitting in the entrance of a massage place while a friend was getting a Thai massage inside.  I wasn’t alone. The owners three year old was also there. At first he was shy. So, I made funny faces to try and ease things a bit. I guess you could say what happened next was my own fault.

Within 15 or 20 minutes he was comfortable enough to come talk to me. However, he was interested in more than just talking. With outstretched hands he made a play for my “girls”. Oh yes. I am not lying here, folks. I immediate put my hands out to catch his before he could make contact. I was in no mood to get poked or squeezed by a three year old. I do have some age limits for this kind of activity and even then it’s questionable!

For the next few minutes I taught him how to hang 10 and play games trying to catch his hands in mine. For a time he was distracted. We played hand games, looked at my camera and made fishy lips by squeezing our cheeks together. But after a short round of Peek-a-boo he made another play! Man, the little bugger was persistent! I was beginning to scold myself for being so goofy and getting his attention in the first place. But he was too damn cute. I sat there and laughed when he’d dance to music coming from the T.V. or tried to peek through my bag.

Once his Mother returned things seemed to calm down a bit. Instead of protecting my girls I was chatting with his Mother and learning Thai. Well, she said things in Thai, I repeat them and then completely forgot everything she just said (It was sort of funny).

Aside from trying to cop-a-feel, this 3 year old was quite funny. We had a lot of fun making faces at each other while his Mother and I tried to communicate, and while his Mom was around, his hands were only interested in playing hang 10. Thank goodness. It’s one thing to deal with curious 3 year olds when I’m solo, it’s a whole new experience when I have an audience!!

“Oh Shit!” I peeked into the dumpster to verify. Yup, there were my keys on their bright yellow lanyard at the bottom of the dirty, smelly dumpster. Now I’ve never considered myself a short person, I stand 5′ 6″ and that’s always been sufficient for me. However I was acutely aware of my height as I stood on my tip toes to look inside said dumpster and my chin barely made it over the edge. “I am so NOT dumspter diving, this is seriously gross”. I desperately looked around to find anything I could use to try and fish my keys out.  I couldn’t get anything from my car as those keys were attached to my apartment keys lying underneath bags of yucky, smelly garbage.  I did find a couple of 2×4′s nearby and used them to prop the lid open while I looked around for a long stick; secretly hoping people weren’t standing in their windows across the street laughing at me.

After pushing garbage around the bottom of the dumpster for like 5 mins (luckily it wasn’t full!) I finally cleared my keys so I could try and fish them out.  However I quickly discovered that moving the garbage bags around was easier than looping my Old Navy lanyard around the stick I found. That’s when I started chanting “Please, please, pleeeeaaaasssseeeeee” and wishing one of the regular homeless guys would stroll by with their shopping carts as I was willing to offer $5 or all my empty bottles if they dove for me keys for me!  After what seemed like an eternity, with my nose burning from the smell of garbage sitting in the warm sun I finally looped the lanyard around the stick.  It then took 3 tries to slow slide the stick up the side of the dumpster so I could reach my keys.  To say they were dirty is an understatement.

I held them out, barely between my fingers with a sour look on my face.  My original purpose for coming downstairs was to switch my newly washed, clean clothes from the washer to the dryer and now my hands were grimy, dirty and smelly.  I immediately washed my hands when I got to the laundry room using Tide as it was all I had.  Hey, ANY kind of soap was a blessing at that point. When I got back to my apartment I quickly washed the dishes in my sink and relished in the scalding hot water before dropping my keys in.  Yes, my keys are soaking in soapy water, make fun of me all you want! haha

Ok, I need to go shower AGAIN!

If you follow my blog (please say you follow my blog…) then you may be familiar with Blog Crawl Monday’s and you may also be aware of the fact that there wasn’t one posted this week.  Allow me to explain.  I woke up early on Monday morning to find my poor baby (my laptop) was sick with a nasty virus.  So at 7am I rushed to Walmart and bought some new anti-virus software. I spent the remainder of the morning installing, running scans and stroking my laptop while saying “It’s ok baby, Mommy will make you feel better. Please don’t die on me”.  Needless to say, by 2pm I was rushing out to door for work and praying my baby would be ok when I got home.

By the next morning I was confident my baby was over the worst and I had full intentions to do a blog crawl after work, but. I. fell. asleep. in. my. chair.  Don’t worry, I’ll post a Blog Crawl this coming Monday from Vancouver before I leave the hostel to explore and get myself into trouble.

Ok, now that my Blog Crawl explanation/apology is settled, allow me to fill you in on the pre-trip portion of my soon to be awesome Vancouver adventures.  Are you ready? I clean, packed, made lunch and I leave tomorrow after work (spending a night in Kamloops).  I know, you’re so utterly thrilled to know that stuff!!

Soooo if you haven’t written me off for boring you with this blog post, I hope you’ll come back and read about my wild-crazy-all-out-amazing-Vancouver-Adventure.

** Oh and if you’re DYING to know what I’m making for lunch, it’s a wrap with turkey, bacon, avocado and some cheese