Not the same dumpster, but you get the picture.
Normally my Mondays are pleasant, filled with Blog Crawls and light chores. Actually major of the day so far has been doing exactly that. Monday is often my last day off before work, so it’s also laundry day. Now I live on the top floor (4th) of a building with no elevator, so multi-tasking is key. I hate making unnecessary trips up and down the stairs. Yes, I am in fact THAT lazy. Anyhow! As per usual I put my wash in and came back upstairs to do my Blog Crawl for an hour before having to go back to the basement to switch everything over to the dryer. Before heading down I decided to fill the sink with hot soapy water, then grabbed my garbage, change and keys and off I went. As I went outside to throw my garbage in the dumpster I thought my keys were firmly looped around my finger and tossed the bag inside only to discover my keys were NOT firmly around my finger and they quickly followed after making a clanking sound on the bottom of the dumpster. This is what ensued…
“Oh Shit!” I peeked into the dumpster to verify. Yup, there were my keys on their bright yellow lanyard at the bottom of the dirty, smelly dumpster. Now I’ve never considered myself a short person, I stand 5′ 6″ and that’s always been sufficient for me. However I was acutely aware of my height as I stood on my tip toes to look inside said dumpster and my chin barely made it over the edge. “I am so NOT dumspter diving, this is seriously gross”. I desperately looked around to find anything I could use to try and fish my keys out. I couldn’t get anything from my car as those keys were attached to my apartment keys lying underneath bags of yucky, smelly garbage. I did find a couple of 2×4′s nearby and used them to prop the lid open while I looked around for a long stick; secretly hoping people weren’t standing in their windows across the street laughing at me.
After pushing garbage around the bottom of the dumpster for like 5 mins (luckily it wasn’t full!) I finally cleared my keys so I could try and fish them out. However I quickly discovered that moving the garbage bags around was easier than looping my Old Navy lanyard around the stick I found. That’s when I started chanting “Please, please, pleeeeaaaasssseeeeee” and wishing one of the regular homeless guys would stroll by with their shopping carts as I was willing to offer $5 or all my empty bottles if they dove for me keys for me! After what seemed like an eternity, with my nose burning from the smell of garbage sitting in the warm sun I finally looped the lanyard around the stick. It then took 3 tries to slow slide the stick up the side of the dumpster so I could reach my keys. To say they were dirty is an understatement.
I held them out, barely between my fingers with a sour look on my face. My original purpose for coming downstairs was to switch my newly washed, clean clothes from the washer to the dryer and now my hands were grimy, dirty and smelly. I immediately washed my hands when I got to the laundry room using Tide as it was all I had. Hey, ANY kind of soap was a blessing at that point. When I got back to my apartment I quickly washed the dishes in my sink and relished in the scalding hot water before dropping my keys in. Yes, my keys are soaking in soapy water, make fun of me all you want! haha
Ok, I need to go shower AGAIN!
22. Mar, 2010 
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